An almost Alphabetical, Allegorical Alliteration
Carcass of my flesh muffles out my heart Clasped inside
Calloused, I wish it was louder to prove I’m alive. When it is, I Drown my breathing in sleep
My delinquent, darkness destroyer
Enclosed, encapsulated, encompassed
Longing to be Enriched, engrossed, Envigorated, embraced, enlivened, (not) Enraged
Engorged - my Every organ
My Fiend. I Grow backwards, at least my mind does
I am as tearfully woeful as I should have been when I was 8, when my tears could have mattered
If I had cried then, maybe I wouldn’t need to cry now
I am running out of words. The world listens to what I say when I say the wrong things, I am stumbling over words
I now talk with clenched teeth
I watch my life enfold. i.e. unfold in reverse
I have no place in the world. There’s not enough space
I pull my shirt over my head, in tears
I pray distractedly, in tears
I watch my favourite tv show, in tears
I listen to harmonious melodies, in tears
I reply, in tears
My body is unscathed, unburnt and if that’s not enough to guarantee my inner peace: I am afraid of all pending fires and knifes
Meaningless, empty phrases from a gritted heart
My monogamous, mistress.
Now I never want to touch again. Not a single being. Never hear, or be heard.
No longer tread in this house. Like the creatures in the shadows of the grass:
Outsider. Just within grasp of Oblivion.
One moon ago, I begged my heartstrings to make a sound.
I Pleaded to feel a soul besides my own Perished upon their perishable nature
Perhaps I wasn’t created for looking at upclose
Uncaged and Untethered,
Visited the remnants of a friend today
The vernacular of vengeance does not course through my veins
Wishing, oh I really wish it did. It seeps into my blood; a wisp, a wasp, a wallowing sense of grief for all I had not — and still lost
Yearning, my own yearling
This piece means a lot to me. But whoever convinced my mind it’s “quirky” to alpabetically arrange and capitalize all the words I envision… please reverse this (& no, not alphabetically).
